Actor turned humanitarian who now runs her US based NGO No More Tears, Somy Ali talks about how she learnt to be kind to herself first before she moved to others. She also opines on whether people are being as kind as they should be in the entertainment industry.
“As a survivor of many incidents of abuse as a child, teenager and in my early 20’s, it took me years to undo what I was forced to believe. It took years of therapy to like myself, understand my thought process which then led to being kind to myself. As humans we are programmed to believe and pay attention to the negativities and criticisms shot towards us rather than anything positive. Therefore, it is important for parents to teach kindness at a very early age to their children, which will also eradicate their natural tendency to only think about their wants and needs,” she says.
Somy adds that her NGO is the best example of learning to be kind to herself because she can relate to abused children, women and men. She has something that she wishes we all had built into our DNA and that is the ability to empathize with others and their pain.
“Only a former addict can be the best counsellor to treat one’s habitual addiction. Working with abused children is very difficult and a sensitive job as their self esteem has been damaged through several incidents of abuse. To rebuild their confidence takes giving and showing them what love is and literally stopping them from growing up to be damaged goods. This work has truly taught me the meaning of kindness which is intertwined with love in a huge manner. Love is always kind and kindness is always love,” she shares.
As for the industry, Somy says that she cannot give a blanket statement because there are many who were ruthless during her time, and there were few who were extremely kind. Thus, it varies from individual to individual.
“By human nature we are built to be selfish beings, but it is up to us to set the barometer level of kindness versus selfishness or even pure evil. Not just the industry, but everywhere and in any field, we have many shades of gray, nothing is simply black and white. Our relationships are symbiotic by nature and that’s just how the world functions. It’s extremely rare to see someone kind to others at all times without wanting or expecting something in return. It is better to have no expectations because this guarantees that one will not get hurt or heartbroken. Kindness should not warrant a reward, it should come naturally and unconditionally. Call me a pessimist or simply being pragmatic, but I have seen and experienced very few genuinely kind people in our world. It does not make them bad people, it’s simply how we are manufactured as humans,” she ends.
